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Australia news, headlines, events , stories and all that is trending today

Autistic Kids Fear Stupid Senators Holding Normal Senators Back

Posted by on Jun 22, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Dickhead senators should be separated from their peers for the good of everyone else, autistic children say. In a statement to media, one...

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New Uber App Displays All Sexual Harassment Cases Currently In Uber HQ

Posted by on Jun 20, 2017 in Business, Satire | 0 comments

Tech giant Uber has launched an innovative new app that alerts users to hundreds of live harassment cases within a 20-yard radius of its...

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Turnbull’s Self Approval Rating Steady At 100%

Posted by on Jun 20, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Polling released today shows that the Prime Minister’s opinion of himself hasn’t changed over the past month. Peter MacPherson from...

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Thermomix: “Multiple Users Burnt, Yes. But Perfectly Seasoned” Company Claims

Posted by on Jun 18, 2017 in Business, Satire | 0 comments

The Australian distributor of the high-end cooking appliance Thermomix says the allegation that many users have been badly burnt is true,...

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New Hipster Bar Now Selling Jam In Schooner Glass

Posted by on Jun 18, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

A local pub in Bondi has started selling organic, fair trade raspberry jam in schooner glasses, after realising they were throwing away 40...

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Trump Learns Of Turnbull Impersonation, Cuts All Ties With Austria

Posted by on Jun 15, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Donald Trump is said to be furious about Malcolm Turnbull’s impersonation of him at the Mid Winter Ball, and has cut off all diplomatic...

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Bipartisan Support For Chinese Funded ICAC

Posted by on Jun 15, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Concerns about the potential cost of running a federal anti corruption commission were quelled today, after Chinese business and...

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Fox News Drops ‘Fair And Balanced’ Slogan, Finally Freeing It Up To Deliver Biased Content

Posted by on Jun 15, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

America’s Fox News has announced it will no longer use its famous ‘Fair and Balanced’ slogan, opening the way for the network to finally...

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Masked British Election Candidate Actually Kevin Rudd, Sources Say

Posted by on Jun 10, 2017 in Satire, World | 0 comments

Kevin Rudd has attempted to enter UK politics disguised as Lord Buckethead, it has been revealed. Mr Rudd, who was deposed as Australian...

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Criminal Activity Higher Among Those Born With Pixelated Faces, Study Finds

Posted by on Jun 10, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Children born with pixelated faces are up to seven times more likely to rob a bank or be part of a real estate scam in adulthood, a...

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“Isn’t It About Time We Had A ‘Wonder Man’ Movie?” Men Demand

Posted by on Jun 8, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Following the success of the new Wonder Woman movie, male moviegoers are asking how long it will be before there’s a superhero movie...

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Dustin Hoffman Reveals: ‘I Got Vaccinated So I Could Properly Portray The Autistic Side Of Rain Man’

Posted by on Jun 8, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Dustin Hoffman has never been one to do things by halves. For the 1982 movie Tootsie, Hoffman wore woman’s clothes for 6 months to prepare...

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Melbourne’s Coldest Morning Of The Year; 18 Queenslanders Found Dead

Posted by on Jun 8, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Melbourne woke up to a chilly 4 degrees this morning, the coldest of the year so far. Eighteen former Queenslanders died. Experts say...

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ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning

Posted by on Jun 7, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

ISIS has released a statement saying it is behind the tissue which became dispersed through an entire load of washing this morning, just...

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Hanson Calls For ABC Funding To Be Cut By 150%

Posted by on Jun 5, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Controversial One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has demanded funding for the national broadcaster be cut by at least 150-200%, in a fiery...

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Waves Lapping American Cities Will Be ‘Greatest Waves You’ve Ever Seen’ Trump Says

Posted by on Jun 3, 2017 in Satire, World | 0 comments

Donald Trump addressed a jubilant group of supporters today, telling them that climate change in America will be better than anywhere else...

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Fuck, It’s June

Posted by on Jun 1, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

It is the sixth month of 2017, experts claim.  While it may seem like late March, calendars have confirmed that it’s actually fucking June...

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Homosexuality Is A Plot To Brainwash Children, Says Leader Of Organisation That Actually Brainwashes Children

Posted by on Jun 1, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

A woman who founded an organisation with the explicit objective to ‘take this nation for Jesus’, is concerned homosexuality is a plot to...

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Shorten, Turnbull In Solidarity With COVFEVE

Posted by on Jun 1, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

The PM and the Opposition Leader have both expressed their support for COVFEVE overnight, in a rare show of bipartisan agreement. Mr...

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Mitchell Pearce Prepares To Line Up For Origin

Posted by on May 30, 2017 in Satire, Sport | 0 comments

Roosters halfback Mitchell Pearce is preparing to line up for the Blues in this week’s Origin match ahead of a month-long itch.  The star...

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