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Australia news, headlines, events , stories and all that is trending today

DAY 5: Eric Abetz Still Heterosexual

Posted by on Dec 12, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Tasmanian Senator Eric Abetz still hasn’t been turned into a gay, reports show. The unexpected news comes despite the fact same sex...

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God Forgets To Send Plague To Destroy Australia

Posted by on Dec 8, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

The Almighty Father slept in this morning, missing the opportunity to punish Australia for allowing two people of the same sex to get...

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Kevin Andrews Announces Plans To Whip Himself Every Time A Gay Couple Gets Married

Posted by on Dec 7, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Liberal MP Kevin Andrews says he will begin a ritual of self flagellation to atone for the sins of gay Australians. Following the...

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Innovative New Amazon Service Allows Customers To Send Christmas Gifts Directly To Landfill

Posted by on Dec 7, 2017 in Business, Satire | 0 comments

Online department store Amazon says it is ‘cutting out the middle man’ by allowing customers to send everything from toys and...

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House Of Cards Sacks President Over Sexual Assault Claims, In Wild Diversion From Reality

Posted by on Dec 5, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

After being lauded for its brutally realistic portrayal of American politics for five seasons, House of Cards has decided to shift into...

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Tosser Sends Back Steak For Not Being Expensive Enough

Posted by on Dec 3, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Gesturing to a nearby waitress and angrily pointing to his meal, Sydney wanker Hugo Samuelsson-Jones last night complained that his $16...

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Turnbull Living Boyhood Dream Of Desperately Clinging To Power

Posted by on Nov 30, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

For as long as he can remember, Malcolm Turnbull has wanted to be an inconsequential, powerless leader at the beck and call of a small...

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Jarryd Hayne Signs Lucrative Two-Hour Contract With Parramatta Eels

Posted by on Nov 30, 2017 in Satire, Sport | 0 comments

Sports person Jarryd Hayne has inked an impressive new deal that will see him play with NRL side the Parramatta Eels until at least the...

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Autism Experts Diagnose Don Burke As ‘A F*ckwit’

Posted by on Nov 29, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Several experts in Asperger’s syndrome and autism have carefully analysed Don Burke’s behaviour and concluded that he is in fact a...

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Constitutional Crisis Deepens: Dozens Of MPs To Keep Their Seats

Posted by on Nov 29, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

In another cruel twist in the citizenship saga, there were concerns today that some MPs may actually be sole citizens of Australia, and...

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Man To Marry Woman

Posted by on Nov 28, 2017 in Satire, World | 0 comments

Two people are getting married, it has been revealed. They are the 56,241st couple to announce their engagement this week. The two became...

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Pauline Hanson Says 13% Qld Vote Is More Evidence Of Angry, Silent Majority

Posted by on Nov 28, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

One Nation leader Pauline Hanson says her party’s vote in the recent Queensland election was confirmation that most people want change....

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People Outraged That Date Of Music Countdown They Don’t Listen To Has Changed 

Posted by on Nov 27, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Angry people around the country who don’t listen to the Hottest 100 on January 26 are furious that they’ll now not listen to it on a...

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See The Shovel & The Chaser Live In Melbourne & Sydney – Extra Shows Added

Posted by on Nov 27, 2017 in Satire | 0 comments

Following the sold-out success of their first show, The Shovel & The Chaser have announced two new dates for The War on 2017 live...

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Trump Named Time Magazine’s ‘Toddler of the Year’

Posted by on Nov 26, 2017 in Satire, World | 0 comments

Donald Trump has been named the most influential little boy in the world. After a misunderstanding yesterday, when Trump tweeted that he...

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The Shovel Annual – the Christmas gift that’s even funnier than the Australian Government!

Posted by on Nov 23, 2017 in Satire | 0 comments

It was the year we said ‘goodbye’ to Barack Obama and ‘привет’ to Donald Trump. We lost 9* MPs to dual citizenship, and then...

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Members Of AC/DC Unable To Name Single Turnbull Policy

Posted by on Nov 21, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Aussie rockers AC/DC were at a loss when asked to name their favourite Turnbull Government policy, during an embarrassing interview on...

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Australians To Take Next Week Off, In Solidarity With Turnbull Government

Posted by on Nov 21, 2017 in Politics, Satire | 0 comments

Australia’s workforce won’t be in next week, it has been revealed. Following the example of their leader Malcolm Turnbull, the nation said...

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Famed Spanish Restorer Called In To Fix $450 Million ‘Salvator Muni’

Posted by on Nov 16, 2017 in Entertainment, Satire | 0 comments

Selling for a world-record $450 million at auction last night, Leonardo Da Vinci’s Salvator Mundi ‘still needed some work’, according to...

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Rush On Boys School Dresses Following Marriage Equality Verdict

Posted by on Nov 15, 2017 in Business, Satire | 0 comments

Parents around Australia have rushed to department stores and uniform shops to snap up dresses for their sons, following the ‘yes’ vote on...

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