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Australia news, headlines, events , stories and all that is trending today

Direct Correlation Between Shitness Of Ringtone And Time Taken To Find Phone In Handbag, Research Confirms

Posted by on Aug 8, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

The more infantile a person’s ringtone, the longer it will take them to realise the phone is theirs, search through their handbag,...

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NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes

Posted by on Aug 3, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

The Federal Government admits literacy and numeracy skills should of improved fasterer, following ten years of NAPLAN testing. The...

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I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article

Posted by on Jul 31, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Have you ever stopped and wondered what it would be like if I had to live without my phone for a week? Nah, me neither. Problem is,...

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Change.org Launches New ‘Select All’ Function, To Allow Users To Sign All 83 Million Petitions At Once

Posted by on Jul 28, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Concerned citizens will now be able to more easily make a real impact on the issues that matter to them, with a new function that allows...

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“I Can’t Function In The Morning Without Telling People How Dependant I Am On Coffee”

Posted by on Jul 20, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Melbourne woman Lucy Bailey literally can’t get going in the morning until her third, or sometimes even fourth, conversation...

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People Who Say ‘Happy Friday’ Get Less Sex, Research Shows

Posted by on Jul 6, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

Your colleagues who say ‘Happy Friday’ at the end of the working week are probably not getting any, an encouraging new study...

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Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told

Posted by on Jul 5, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

Mobile telephone devices come with a built-in speaker that you can hear when placed to your ear, it has been revealed. The startling...

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Mike Baird’s Reaction When He Saw His Daughter as a Bride Will Make Your Heart Hurt

Posted by on Jul 4, 2017 in Celebrity, Local | 0 comments

While there are usually plenty of noteworthy wedding pictures to scroll through on any given big day, we think these should definitely be...

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Mike Baird’s Reaction When He Saw His Daughter as a Bride Will Make Your Heart Hurt

Posted by on Jul 4, 2017 in Celebrity, Local | 0 comments

While there are usually plenty of noteworthy wedding pictures to scroll through on any given big day, we think these should definitely be...

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Man Was Into Band Way After They Became Popular

Posted by on Jun 26, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

A Melbourne man knows about this cool indie band that totally blew up five years ago, friends have revealed. According to friends, the man...

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New Hipster Bar Now Selling Jam In Schooner Glass

Posted by on Jun 18, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

A local pub in Bondi has started selling organic, fair trade raspberry jam in schooner glasses, after realising they were throwing away 40...

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Criminal Activity Higher Among Those Born With Pixelated Faces, Study Finds

Posted by on Jun 10, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Children born with pixelated faces are up to seven times more likely to rob a bank or be part of a real estate scam in adulthood, a...

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Melbourne’s Coldest Morning Of The Year; 18 Queenslanders Found Dead

Posted by on Jun 8, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Melbourne woke up to a chilly 4 degrees this morning, the coldest of the year so far. Eighteen former Queenslanders died. Experts say...

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ISIS Claims Responsibility For Tissue In Your Washing This Morning

Posted by on Jun 7, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

ISIS has released a statement saying it is behind the tissue which became dispersed through an entire load of washing this morning, just...

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Fuck, It’s June

Posted by on Jun 1, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

It is the sixth month of 2017, experts claim.  While it may seem like late March, calendars have confirmed that it’s...

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White Guy With Straw Fedora Survives Entire Party Without Touching Guitar

Posted by on May 30, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Callum Whitebridge, a 28-year-old Brisbane man, has shocked his peers by lasting an entire house party without touching the acoustic...

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Majority Of Weight Loss From Diets Due To Energy Used Talking About Diets, Research Finds

Posted by on May 25, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

People who follow fad diets burn up to 15,000 calories a day just telling their friends and family about it, new research has found....

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#VanLife: 6 Midnight Pissing Hacks (And The Instagram Filters To Go With Them)

Posted by on May 25, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

You’re an adventurekin millennial about to trade rental slavery for the elusive freedom that only the owner of a 1999 Toyota Tarago...

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Science Is A Hoax, Man Types On Small Electronic Device That Can Do Everything

Posted by on May 23, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Science is an elitist fraud, a man has typed on a 150 gram device that can take photos, make phone calls, pinpoint his location, tell him...

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This Millenial Turned An Avocado Into A One-Bedroom Apartment And Now Has A Mortgage Of Just $18

Posted by on May 18, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Meet Daniel Jacobson, the 25 year-old engineering graduate who turned a plate of smashed avocado on toast into a cosy one-bedroom...

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