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Frustrating! Women STILL Don’t Understand What Mansplaining Means

Posted by on Oct 19, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

Exasperated men around the country have been at pains to point out that many women simply don’t understand what mansplaining is,...

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GOP May Backpedal on State and Local Taxes

Posted by on Oct 13, 2017 in Local, News, World | 0 comments

Republicans in Congress are considering tweaking their tax-overhaul plan to preserve some federal deductions for state and local taxes....

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Office Worker Rewards 12-Minute Stretch Of Work With Quick, 40-Minute Check Of Social Media

Posted by on Oct 5, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

After a solid eleven and a half minutes labouring over a spreadsheet, office worker Ben McInerny today treated himself to a quick browse...

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Halloween Costume Ideas That Are As Local as They Come

Posted by on Sep 27, 2017 in Celebrity, Local | 0 comments

There are some costumes that are going to go off around the world this Halloween (expect to see a lot of Offreds), but if you’re...

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Smoking e-Cigarettes Significantly Lowers Risk Of Looking Cool, Report Finds

Posted by on Aug 25, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Vaping decreases the risk of contracting cancer and fitting in socially, a report has found. A preliminary study analysed users in the US,...

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Soaring House Prices Forcing Millennial Lego Figures To Live In Box Under Owner’s Bed

Posted by on Aug 22, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

An increasing number of young Lego figurines can’t even afford a simple plastic brick apartment, new research shows. As housing...

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“Kids Today Don’t Have A Clue,” Says Man Who Types With One Finger.

Posted by on Aug 20, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Young people entering the workforce do not have the professional abilities required to succeed in business, a man who types emails with...

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Direct Correlation Between Shitness Of Ringtone And Time Taken To Find Phone In Handbag, Research Confirms

Posted by on Aug 8, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

The more infantile a person’s ringtone, the longer it will take them to realise the phone is theirs, search through their handbag,...

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NAPLAN Results Could Be Gooder, Government Concedes

Posted by on Aug 3, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

The Federal Government admits literacy and numeracy skills should of improved fasterer, following ten years of NAPLAN testing. The...

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I Went Without My Phone For A Week And, Oh Fuck This Is Such A Boring Article

Posted by on Jul 31, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Have you ever stopped and wondered what it would be like if I had to live without my phone for a week? Nah, me neither. Problem is,...

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Change.org Launches New ‘Select All’ Function, To Allow Users To Sign All 83 Million Petitions At Once

Posted by on Jul 28, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Concerned citizens will now be able to more easily make a real impact on the issues that matter to them, with a new function that allows...

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“I Can’t Function In The Morning Without Telling People How Dependant I Am On Coffee”

Posted by on Jul 20, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Melbourne woman Lucy Bailey literally can’t get going in the morning until her third, or sometimes even fourth, conversation...

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People Who Say ‘Happy Friday’ Get Less Sex, Research Shows

Posted by on Jul 6, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

Your colleagues who say ‘Happy Friday’ at the end of the working week are probably not getting any, an encouraging new study...

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Phones Work With Speakerphone Off, Wankers Told

Posted by on Jul 5, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

Mobile telephone devices come with a built-in speaker that you can hear when placed to your ear, it has been revealed. The startling...

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Mike Baird’s Reaction When He Saw His Daughter as a Bride Will Make Your Heart Hurt

Posted by on Jul 4, 2017 in Celebrity, Local | 0 comments

While there are usually plenty of noteworthy wedding pictures to scroll through on any given big day, we think these should definitely be...

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Mike Baird’s Reaction When He Saw His Daughter as a Bride Will Make Your Heart Hurt

Posted by on Jul 4, 2017 in Celebrity, Local | 0 comments

While there are usually plenty of noteworthy wedding pictures to scroll through on any given big day, we think these should definitely be...

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Man Was Into Band Way After They Became Popular

Posted by on Jun 26, 2017 in Local | 0 comments

A Melbourne man knows about this cool indie band that totally blew up five years ago, friends have revealed. According to friends, the man...

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New Hipster Bar Now Selling Jam In Schooner Glass

Posted by on Jun 18, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

A local pub in Bondi has started selling organic, fair trade raspberry jam in schooner glasses, after realising they were throwing away 40...

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Criminal Activity Higher Among Those Born With Pixelated Faces, Study Finds

Posted by on Jun 10, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Children born with pixelated faces are up to seven times more likely to rob a bank or be part of a real estate scam in adulthood, a...

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Melbourne’s Coldest Morning Of The Year; 18 Queenslanders Found Dead

Posted by on Jun 8, 2017 in Local, Satire | 0 comments

Melbourne woke up to a chilly 4 degrees this morning, the coldest of the year so far. Eighteen former Queenslanders died. Experts say...

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